I Feel Sorry...

for Paige's future spouse.

I really do...and here's why. 

She moves around more than you could possibly imagine, and I know right where she gets it from. ME. I do it too. I think it's calmed down over the years, and I hope that it does for Paige also because I don't know a single man who would willing put up with the wonky positions I find her in on a regular basis. 

Here are some examples:

I have found her in a wide variety of wonky positions. I've found her with only her upper body still on the bed. I've found her with only a hand left on her bed. I've found her sleeping sitting up, and sleeping on the floor (far from her bed) in the middle of the night. 

I thought that with time, her wonky sleeping tendancies would get better. Sadly, I was wrong. 

A little back story here - within the last month or so, she has taken to getting up in the middle of the night, coming into our room, and crawling into bed. She's very good about being quiet - she even shuts the door behind her! I wake up just long enough to pick her up and get her in bed, cover her up, snuggle up, and fall asleep. 

I really wish I had a picture of what I woke up to this morning, but I had left my phone upstairs and I don't sleep with my camera - lol.

I woke up with this sweet girl's feet less than an inch from my face. I'm not entirely sure how long I slept inhaling her feet smell, not that the stink or anything, but still!

Where was the rest of her, you might ask? Well - her feet were right in my face, and she was laying backwards in the bed, right between Abe and I. So, her head was near my hips. She didn't have blankets on. She had managed to get her shirt off to the point that only one arm was still in an arm hole. She had no pants on either, and was missing a sock. 

WONKY, I TELL YOU!

Is this all 2 yr olds, or just mine? 

:)

Oh Fall - How I Love Thee...

Fall is by far my favorite season. It beats out spring simply because there is no snow on the ground! 

10 Reasons Why I Love Fall 

(in no particular order)

1. The cool, crisp mornings. They are so very refreshing after a summer full of humidity. In fact, the other morning I stepped outside to get the mail and was instantly taken back to a time long ago when I was younger and waiting for the bus to go to school. It was the oddest thing. Kind of how a certain smell can remind you of something specific - but I guess temperature does it for me. lol

2. Oktoberfest - you can read about our most recent fun-filled Oktoberfest here.

3. Lower electric bills. We typically don't have the heat or AC on so our bills are always super low!

4. I get to start wearing my fuzzy lined crocs again. Yes - I look forward to this every year. They are impossible to wear in the summer.

5. Good TV! No more re-runs. Woot! I feel as though our DVR hates us though. 

6. The changing of the leaves. If any of you have been lucky enough to be in Wisconsin in the fall, you know what I'm talking about. The colors are breathtaking. It's never more beautiful here than it is in the fall. 

7. I can use my Pumpkin Pie & Apple Cider scented candles and not get weird looks from everyone that enters my home.

8. Jacket weather! I love jackets and I love wearing them. I think it's more of a celebration of the fact that I spend all summer long wishing I could take more off because it's so nasty outside. In the fall - putting on a jacket is something I CAN do! Ha!

9. Corn Mazes & Haunted Houses. I can't wait to go - I love being freaked out!

10. Driving with the windows down. There's nothing like getting in the car, rolling down the window, and just going. In the winter - you are out there a minimum of 10 minutes before you have to anywhere and you are freezing. In the summer, you hop in quickly - turn the air on and then stand outside the vehicle until it cools down because it's likely you could pass out if you get in. 

So, there you have it. What do you like best about fall? 

This was written for Mama Kat's Writing Workshop. 

I chose prompt #5.

Childhood Fears

When I think back to my childhood and the fears that I have, I can think of one that I have carried into adulthood. Here's how it would go down...

I'd wake up and leave my bedroom, and I would all of a sudden realize that my dad had left for work. 

Cue the tears!! 

You can bet that if my dad had a cell phone - I would have called him. I would be so upset that I didn't get to say goodbye to him and get a hug and a kiss. 

Funny thing is...I still do that. Maybe not to the extent that I did when I was a child, but the feelings are still there. It's pretty rare that I'm still sleeping when Abe leaves for work. When it does happen though, he doesn't wake me up because he knows I rarely get to sleep in. As much as I appreciate that - I wish he would. I wake up, realize he isn't there, and then I get upset. 

He thinks I'm silly for it, but I'm the type that always imagines the worst. If Abe isn't home within 30 minutes of work being over, all kinds of things run through my head. I'd say that intensifies when he has left and I didn't say good bye. I imagine him getting into a horrible car accident and just thinking about how I didn't get to say goodbye and then I start processing our last conversation and hoping it was a good one. 

Fear of loss is what you would call it, I guess. I lost my sister in 2004 and since then I've always been sure to say I love you when someone leaves, since you don't know if you will see them again. That wasn't the case when I was a child though. I hadn't lost anyone yet - anyone really close to me, anyway. So, there wasn't really anything that happened to instill that fear in me. I guess I was just born with it. Here I am, 26 years old, and I still feel the same way. 

Hopefully that is something that will change since I always feel so silly - but I'm not counting on it. 

*This post was written for Mama Kat's Writing Workshop.*

Out of the prompts, I chose: 

1.) Childhood fears you've taken into your adult life.

How Far To Heaven?

This week, I chose Mama Kat's #4 Prompt for the Writing Workshop.

4.) Post a picture and a description that fits into this quote for you: "How far to heaven? Just open your eyes and look. You are in heaven" -Shankar

This beautiful girl means the world to me.  I can't imagine life without her in it. I'm not sure that I believe in "heaven" but if when I die, I get to spend eternity with her, I will be happy :)

The Joys of Parenting....

I'm joining in with Mama Kat's Writing workshop today. 

Here are the prompts:

1.) Choose a headline from  The Today Show website and write up an opinion post based on the story you chose.

2.) Write a poem about the last thing that made you mad.

3.) Write about a joke that did not go over well.

4.) Write a funny story involving socks.

5.) It happened on Facebook...write about a funny or awkward conversation you saw unfold on Facebook.

I chose prompt # 1: 

Choose a headline from The Today Show website and write up an opinion post based on the story you chose.

I chose this: Parenting Got You Down? You Aren't Alone.

Now, I will preface this by saying that I LOVE my daughter. I love her more than I could ever possible express. When she hurts, I hurt. When she smiles, I smile. I love her. 

What I don't love?? 

Poopy diapers.

No sleep.

Potty Training

Not being able to go to the bathroom without the door open, or with company.

Having to schedule my shower around naptimes.

Having no time for myself.

Watching a 2 yr old throw herself onto the floor because she can't have this, that, or the other thing.

Dealing with unsolicited parenting advice.

Paying for daycare.

Being home 24/7 with little adult interaction.

Mopping the floor 3 times a day, the area around her seat in particular.

Washing bibs. They always manage to get all mangled and stuck together.

The need to be on a schedule.

Winter & Infants/Toddlers...nuff said.

I will say this again...I love my daughter. I love being her mother. I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world. I love her smiles. I love when she learns something new. I love the look on her face as I come around the corner. I love her little voice. I love the way she says she loves me. I love her hugs and her kisses. I love how she adores her daddy. I love her cute little toes. I love everything about HER.

I don't love the rest. Parenting is not an amazing thing. Sure...BEING a parent is an awesome thing...but the actual act of it? Not so much. Seriously...who loves poopy diapers and cleaning up vomit, piss, and whatever that is ground in to the sofa? Oh, and you can't forget about the crayon marks on the wall!

All in all, I agreed with the article. Parenting is not all sunshine and rainbows. Not even close.

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Dear Laziness..

I'm participating in Mama Kat's Writing Workshop this week. Better late than never right? lol

Here were her prompts:

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept
The writing prompts this week are:

1.) The Love List. Write a list of 50 things you look for in a man.

2.) Write a poem about a picture.

3.) What does your child do that reminds you most of yourself? How does it make you feel?

4.) Write a letter to whatever is stopping you from losing the extra weight you'd like to lose.

5.) What summer means to your family.

Don't forget to link up this Thursday, June 24th!

I chose # 4. "Write a letter to whatever is stopping you from losing the extra weight you'd like to lose."

Dear Laziness, You are the reason that I have not lost this baby weight. Paige is now 2 years old, and I'm still nearly 40 lbs heavier than I was prior to getting pregnant. 

When Paige was newborn, my excuse was that I was exhausted...which is true. I was. 

Then, she turned 8 weeks old, and I started working part time. My excuse then was that I didn't have time, and I was too tired. The latter part was true. I was working part time, and still getting up at night to nurse. It was rough. 

Then, I joined a gym. Paige was about 9 months old or so. I had friends to go with, and it was all fine and dandy. I went for about a month, nearly every day, and I lost 10 lbs during that time frame. I felt amazing! 

And....then we moved. We moved about 15 miles away. Not far, but far enough that I convinced the gym to let me out of my contract. I worked in the little town we moved to, and had no reason to go into downtown La Crosse. None whatsoever. 

So, I had BIG plans of taking my baby on a walk every single day. Again, I was too busy. I worked a full time job and then came home to take care of a family. That was my excuse anyway. 

Now, here we are a year later, and I've made no progress. I whine and complain about how I look, and yet I sit here, doing nothing about it. I complain to Abe, and all he says is "If you are that unhappy, do something about it." 

The first time he said that, I got angry. I took it as a personal insult. Now, I see that he was just saying what needed to be said. I essentially have no room to complain, if I'm not doing anything to better myself. 

So, LAZINESS, this is my letter to you. You have stood in my way for entirely too long, and I have no one to blame but myself. 

Please Stop Staring!

*This post was written for Mama Kat's Writing Workshop.*

I chose Prompt # 4.

I can't even begin to count the times that I wanted to say that growing up.

No, they weren't staring at me, but they were staring at someone with me. 

My sister.

I am very understanding to the fact that my sister's bald, scarred head and her little wheelchair would catch someone's eye. We always lived in small towns, and seeing something and someone like that was not a common occurrence by any means. So, I understand the curiousity. I'm also not including small children in this, because they just simply don't know any better and I can't fault them for that. 

I'm talking about teenagers and adults. Now, I was not the one in the wheelchair, but I felt the stares. There is nothing more uncomfortable than knowing that people are looking at you. You wondering what is running through their mind. You wondering if they are silently making fun or even thinking how they feel sorry. Either way, we had no idea, and it's not a feeling that I like. 

I can't even begin to imagine how she felt. She couldn't talk, but she could understand. She cried when other kids made fun of her at school. She knew, she just couldn't express her thoughts, like you and I. So, I imagine that she felt those stares 100 times more than the rest of us did.

I always appreciated the people that would say something. Come over and say hi, or even ask what was wrong. That didn't happen very often, unfortunately. I so wish it had. I liked telling my sister's story. Not to seek attention or to throw pity parties, but because she was a strong girl, much stronger than the majority if people I have come into contact with. I was (and still am) proud of her for the accomplishments that she had made, despite everything that she encountered. She always had a smile on her face, no matter what. 

So, the next time you see a child, or an adult for that matter, and you find yourself curious to their situation, please do one of two things: 

Offer a few kind words, or don't look.

*Want to join in?*

This week's prompts are:

1.) The popular girls.

2.) It happened at work.

3.) "How long until you realized you had no talent or patience for this? Tell the story (true or fiction) of trying to learn a new talent or hobby that you only pursued briefly."

4.) "Who first told you that it's not nice to stare? Write about a time you stared when you maybe shouldn't have, or a time when sometime stared at you."

5.) Describe a happy reunion.

Then, head on over to 

My Summer To-Do List

Mama Kat sent out some awesome prompts this week, but I chose 30 things you vow to do this summer.

So, here is my list.

1. Sew something. ANYTHING. Preferably something for my kid.

2. Read 10 books. I started out this year with a goal of 100 books. Uh..yeah. Not happening. I'm up to 3. TOTAL. For the year.

3. Not go over 500 minutes on my cell phone. When I was working at Sprint, I had no issues with that, and to be honest, it didn't even matter as I had unlimited minutes. Now that I'm not working, I have a measly 500 minute plan and it's just not working. I don't know how. I am never on my phone because it doesn't work correctly 80% of the time. I'm actually considering installing a landline. Cable company said it's 14.99/mo for unlimited local calling. Heck of a lot cheaper than upping my plan minutes or god forbid, going OVER my minutes.

4.Get outside every day that it isn't raining. This will be hard for me. My body can't take heat. However, I don't want to deprive my baby girl. So, we WILL go outside every day. Even if it's not until 8 pm. 

5. I will take a walk every night. I need the exercise. I really do. 

6. Go fishing more than just once. I want to make purchasing a fishing license actually worth it. I wouldn't even have to worry about it if the State of Wisconsin didn't make single day passes only $4 cheaper than yearly passes.

7. Turn the air on less, and open the windows more. The only issue with this is that we live right next to the interstate. When I say right next to, I mean close enough that when a semi hits their jake breaks, Our windows rattle. Mmmk? So. This will mean that the tv will have to be turned off, as we wouldn't be able to hear it without blowing out a speaker. 

8. Take Paige swimming...possibly enroll her in swimming lessons. Can 2 yr olds take swimming lessons? I don't even know. Guess I should look into that huh? 

9. Watch 1 movie a day. That really is like the epitome of lazy, but we have a A LOT of movies. Movies that never get watched and quite frankly were  a waste of money. We haven't purchased but a handful of movies since Paige was born...so we obviously broke that habit. But..come on. We have over 500 dvds. We need to start watching them because I have the urge to sell them all at our garage sale this weekend. 

10. Mow the lawn every week. Should be easy since our landlord agreed to take money off of our rent if we take care of the mowing! YAY!

11. Sit outside on the deck more often. I love doing it, but the sound from the interstate gets bothersome. I really wish we lived in the country.

12. Take Paige to the Dells. Abe would hate me for saying this, as he loathes water parks with every ounce of his being ( he worked in most of them). But hey...it's for his kid (and secretly for me) so he has to do it!

13. Go camping. Preferably on a sand bar. I will take anything though. I love camping. Also, I'd prefer to be child free while doing this. 

14. Make something that I have NEVER made before. I don't have anything in mind, but Abe mentioned that I should broaden my cooking horizons and make something that didn't come out of one of my "stupid cookbooks." HOLD UP. The Pioneer Woman is not stupid and I love every single thing in that book.I know this because I have literally made EVERY SINGLE THING in it. But anywho...I will make something different. Wish me luck. 

15. Get a tan. Not a really dark one, but some color would be nice. 

16. Go see my family in Illinois. I don't know how we would do it, as right now there is no possible way we could do so, but I really want to. I love them all sooo much and I'm so sad that they don't get to see my little girl grow up. She has a lot of loving family around her right now, but I want her to know what I knew growing up. 

17. Sit at my desk more. Aka sit up straight. I think I'm leaving a permanent indent in this couch. 

18. go to the chiropractor like I am supposed to. I can't say how long it has been since I've gone, as some people will kill me. Let's just say...I think the last time I went, there was snow on the ground. This is not good for me. I know it isn't. I just can't seem to work in between Abe's work schedule. I will try though. 

19. Set myself to a limit on computer time. I'm not really on it that much. Yes, the computer is on all day and open, I'm not on it however. Ask my mother, my YIM sits at idle a lot. I

20. Play more video games with Abe. I know he'd love it if I played them with him, but just as he has no interest in blogs, I have no interest in video games. Well, Okay, I take that back. There are a handful of games that I like, but I don't like them enough to put the game in and play it. No thanks. I know that he enjoys it though, so it's definitely something I will do. 

21. Drink more water, less soda. I drink Sprite, and a lot of it. There is nothing better than a crisp drink of Sprite...kinda feels like it burns my mouth. lol 

22. Take more pictures. 'Nuff said, really. 

23. Do a load of laundry every 2 days. I'd love to keep up on laundry. It would be amazing really. 

24. Get over my fear of Abe riding on a motorcycle. I know it's something I need to work on...it really freaks me out though. I'm scared to death of losing my best friend and my daughter's father. TERRIFIES me. I know he will do great though and won't be stupid. He promises to stay off of the interstate. 

25. Get Paige potty trained. She is sooo close. So close. She always tells us that she poops. Right after of course. THEN she wants to sit on the potty. She wants to sit on the potty all the time, but never does anything and then tells us when it is too late. So, we are going to dive into that hardcore. Wish us luck.

26. Take Paige to the zoo. She loves animals, and I know she's be in seventh heaven!

27. Reach 300 subscribers for my newsletter. I'm at about 140 right now, so I'm hoping and hoping that I can reach that by Sept. 1st. 

28.  Ween Paige from the watching of Elmo. The girl is obsessed and she watches it too much. Granted...her "watching" consists of doing everything other than watching it...but still. It's on in the background and is gonna drive me bonkers!

29. Teach Paige the ABC's. She can sing up to the E, and she can repeat them all to us very well. So, we are working with her to be able to sing them all. I doubt it will be done by the end of summer, but we can sure try!

30. Find a better way to organize my coupons. I can't seem to find something that I like and can stick with. I will figure something out this summer.

I wrote this for Mama Kat's Writing Workshop. Head on over to check out the prompts, write your little heart out, and link up!